Are We Romance Intolerant?
"Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be." - Anton Chekhov (1860-1904)
Most girls will talk about how much she gags when a guy tries to be 'romantic' claiming instead, that he's not really sincere..or that he's after one thing and one thing only.
Most guys will talk about how much work and effort it takes to be romantic these days, complaining that sometimes its too expensive in the end..and that their girl doesn't really appreciate it anyways.
We've gone from candle lit dinners to pick up or take out...from love letters written on paper... to email...from putting a lovely picture in a frame... to leaving it on a digital camera..forever!!! A lot of these changes may also reflect the way we feel about relationships...love..and romance!
Something that was considered "romantic" way back in the day...was meant to be a sincere gesture towards someone you liked...to show them you cared..or even that you loved them. Now it is considered too much of an effort...or too cheezy, or too idealistic. Of course we can all agree that a romantic date doesn't have to include candle light..or roses...or love letters...but why shouldn't it? Why are women settling for these guys who don't care for that stuff? And why are guys settling for women that don't appreciate it either?
Romance shouldn't have to be used as a deceptive means to an insincere end. Romance shouldn't have to take a lot of work either...because it should be something you want to do for someone anyways. Guys, if it feels like its too much work..then you probably don't think the girl is worth it. Girls, if you feel like your man isn't "romantic" enough..well then he probably isn't...and if you think he's TOO romantic..well then you're just a douche bag!!!
So next time you see a cheese flick..sorry, I meant, chic flick...try not to gag. Next time someone makes you dinner and lights a few candles...tell them how much you really appreciate stuff like that...and that it makes you happy. Give them a huge smile for trying..cause its sweet.
Anyways..I will stop procastinating now and must get back to my paper on computation..how romantic!
p.s. - tell me what kind of flowers they chose and i will tell you what kind of person they are.
"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead." - Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
4 Comments:
Colleen,
Yes, I agree with u..it shouldn't always be up to the guy to put in effort for romance. I was talking about men and women in general.
As for this person who turned down this guy because of FLOWERS??? Personally, it had to be more than just the flowers or that he didn't put in enough effort. When it comes down to it..she probably just didn't appreciate him overall. They obviously had different ideas of what romance is.
If someone chooses carnations for their girl, they're either:
a) trying to save money
b) in a rush
c) they think she won't notice
d) simple
Yes, carnations are not the ideal flower you would give to a girl, however, if you're going to let a flower determine the rest of your life together, then its obviously not about the flower at all.
Even though carnations are considered as "fillers" I hear that pink carnations are making a comeback!!! They are so pretty! :)
Colleen,
Yes, I agree with u..it shouldn't always be up to the guy to put in effort for romance. I was talking about men and women in general.
As for this person who turned down this guy because of FLOWERS??? Personally, it had to be more than just the flowers or that he didn't put in enough effort. When it comes down to it..she probably just didn't appreciate him overall. They obviously had different ideas of what romance is.
If someone chooses carnations for their girl, they're either:
a) trying to save money
b) in a rush
c) they think she won't notice
d) simple
Yes, carnations are not the ideal flower you would give to a girl, however, if you're going to let a flower determine the rest of your life together, then its obviously not about the flower at all.
Even though carnations are considered as "fillers" I hear that pink carnations are making a comeback!!! They are so pretty! :)
AMEN Anna!!!!
I grew up in a family of romantics; where we were taught to be respectful of women, and if we feel strongly for them then we were encouraged to show them... to BE romantic.
I feel so out of place here. People nowadays are desensitized to romance and believe it as insincere. Today, Girls seem to think that any romance is with the motive to 'score', while MOST guys (not all, cause I am proof) believe in using romance ONLY to 'score'. In this essence, it IS insincere. The problem is that the deceivers have become almost indistinguishable from the believers. I myself can often see the 'decievers' and more often then not, have spent the last few years warning young opera girls about these guys. WOMEN DESERVE BETTER than to be used to fulfill a biological urge. Most guys don't care WHO they sleep with, as long as the seven-day-itch gets scratched. Well I DO care!!!
My probelm, as a sincere romantic, is that many of my efforts get taken for granted. Some of you have heard the ongoing escapades of a certain composer friend that I have been smitten with. What happens is that society has ruined it for me! The more SINCERE I get, the more she seems to think I am INSINCERE. There is that old saying that you can see your future in their eyes, and I can see that with her... she is a keeper. I felt a STRONG connection with her, but she thought all my efforts were for some base concept of 'getting together'. So, in typical 'romantic' fashion, I sit with a wounded heart, seeing her two or three times a week, and having her avoid me. We talk over e-mail, and accasionally on the phone, but things are different now. I have realized that she may never get past this misconception, and for the sake of MY heart, I've had to curtail my feelings. She is someone I just wanted to give lilies to because they brought out her beautiful eyes. She is someone I like to call just to hear her voice. She is someone who I just want to sit with and talk music, and listen to opera, and be able to sqeeze her hand at the heart-wrenching parts. Someone I can hold hands with, and smile at, without her thinking I'm out to 'get some'.
Anna, you are absolutely right! People no longer take romance at face value. It is because of this, that I feel out of place. I don't go out to bars to 'pick up'.... I go out to enjoy the atmosphere (which is sadly degenerating into Jack-ass-ery), meet new friends, and socialize.
So, now I've written my essay for the day. It sounds like a personal add....maybe I'll sign it that way.
'Hopeless at Hellmuth (Ave.)'
Cheers,
John
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