Whats REALLY Going On Right Now

"Just Some Really Random Shit from Annie"

Its June 2nd, 2:06 a.m. I just got back from a little outdoor patio "party" thingy. I'm not sure what it was, there were a few people and lots of drinks...weed, cigarettes, John Mayer. I didn't indulge in any weed and I was trying not to indulge in John Mayer, thats for sure...but the damn guy kept playing it over and over again. Sarah, what was with that? Seriously, he was weird. Anyways, happy to say, that I am buzzed, smiling and quite relaxed. You're all thinking: "great, another reason why Annie will ramble on and on cause she's having a moment." Yes dammit, I am definetley having a "moment." To be honest, everyone should have one of these "moments" more often. We'd all get along so much more nicely.

So I've started working full time this week and its honestly not too bad. However, I had this thought the other day that really scared me: "I'm working full time, doing something kinda serious and I can't mess around for once." It also hit me how important it will be for me to have a job I REALLY love, because honestly, I can't do 40 hours of shit each week and walk out saying I'm pretty "content." I'm slowly learning the true value of my education and coming to understand how important it is that we find something we really love to do. Cause this is it man, 40 hours of work each week, that means 23.8% (minimum) of our week is devoted to working!!! So yeah, just make sure you end up doing something you REALLY love.

As for everything else, well I'm just chilling. I mean, honestly, that is the perfect word right now. I'm not feeling too much stress. I don't even feel like I have any school work, cause I have class one night each week. I'm learning really interesting shit in that class, like how to throw in certain questions into some random conversation that will get you to admit certain things about yourself. Umm, but don't worry, I wouldn't do that do you (doot doo dooooo!!!)

A few nights ago, Ian, my most wonderful sweetheart, took me into Georgetown (I still don't really know how to get there Ian) to meet one of his best friends, also named Iain (the spelling is just different) who flew in from Australia, after being gone for so long cause of school. It was really nice to be surrounded by the people that mean the most to my Ian and it truly let me see a realy cool part of his world (thank you baby!)

I guess the only stress I've been experiencing lately is that I've had my doubts about a few things. Like whether I'm going to like my job (for real), whether I'm going to lose my mind, living here at home, whether I'm doing the right thing with school, whether I'm going to be able to pay off some debt by the time I set for myself as a goal, and whether I'm being the best I can be (or should be at this moment). Its just hard when you're done school and all you have now is a different kind of responsibility. Its kind of sad how when it comes down to it, all of our goals (for a certain period of time) revolve around money, whether its saving up, or paying off. I feel so paralyzed because I can't do anything until I have everything in order. I want to move out...I want to travel, I want a little black jetta, I want to get a pet and be able to give it all its damn shots for goodness sakes!!!! I just wanna finish school already so that I can start doing something I TRULY love and start living life the way I WANT to live it, not because I have to improvise. Meh! I'll get over it. Remember, I'm just having a moment right now, everything is cool. Coooolio!

On a more positive note....Andrew arrived from England today at 3:30 p.m. Also, tomorrow is Friday and I can truly appreciate the phrase "TGIF" cause it actually means something now!

Okay, well I'm going to bed now, I finally feel sleepy. I'm actually turning into a real person with normal sleep habits (except for tonight of course, but I had to shake this buzz off before actually going to bed, so I wrote). It will feel weird to go to bed at 11 or 12, just to wake up at 8 a.m.

Cheers!

Annie

p.s. - I'm really sorry about all this random shit! Off to bed to rest my head.