Jokes!

• A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" The doctor interrupts, "Nine..."
  

• A little blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!
  

• Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter....
  

First Woman : "My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me.
Second Woman : "I know..."
First Woman : "Oh yeah, how?"
Second Woman : "My dog told me."